A Different Kind of Pain
By JayEm

… is someone there to hold you?

Chapter One
When the world falls away…

God, he was so tired.

Daniel looked out over the desolate landscape of what had once been a typical small town in middle America and sighed.

It seemed so hopeless.

Couldn’t give up now though, they were too close.

From the moment the Ori plague had reached the outside of Cheyenne mountain, Daniel had known the likelihood of seeing his lover again was remote; even more remote when the Pentagon had been decimated to the point Major General Vidrine was now the ranking officer of what little was left of the armed forces.

No one knew where Jack was, whether he’d died quietly elsewhere or had been taken captive by one of the priors for some unknown reason. Daniel hoped that Jack, like most of the SGC and surviving military, had gone underground hoping to regroup and find a way to fight the Ori.

So much had changed in only nine months.

With over half the population, of the US at least, dead of the original plague, and even more in the attack that followed, even the relatively advanced people of Earth had been ripe for the line of bull the priors offered, the only hope to a world suddenly slung back into a dark age that no longer supported much of the technology that shaped their lives. A world where desperation had left many clinging to Origin like it was the last remaining life preserver on the proverbial sinking ship. Regardless of previous beliefs, willingly or otherwise, the Ori had changed everything. And everyone.

Those who refused to conform were killed, sometimes by family or friends more afraid of the Ori than the damnation for sin promised by their former beliefs. Bill Lee had estimated the world population was less than a third of what it had been prior, pun so not intended, to the Ori incursion. There was no electricity anywhere, very little refined gasoline, and even if there had been, it wasn’t as if anyone would take the risk of being seen driving a car if there had. Using technology, or more accurately, being seen using technology, was a sure path to a quick beating or worse.

The SGC had been safe for a while. While they had the chance, a lot of people were evacuated to the alpha site; families of personnel were brought in discreetly, their disappearances explained in as many different ways they could think of. There were a lot of empty graves in Colorado Springs including one for Daniel.

They had discovered that the Ori were far too interested in Daniel for some unknown reason and Landry thought that arranging for Daniel’s ‘death’ was probably the best way to help keep him safe. Despite the creepiness of the whole ‘plan your own funeral’ experience, Daniel had agreed.

They’d contacted all their allies to little result. No one could defeat the Ori, not even the Asgard. The Ancients, damn them, had done nothing. Sometimes Daniel could imagine them in that whacked out cosmic diner, reading their Ascended Times over coffee that wasn’t really coffee to see what was happening over in the Milky Way galaxy, nodding sagely at each new report like dispassionate Monday morning quarterbacks winning the game in theory long after time was up.

If they cared at all.

Landry, bless his bushy eyebrows, had held out until the very last minute, he and Lam were the last two to leave. Carter had, against her desires, gone to the alpha site too. Daniel and Landry helped convince her that she and Doctor Lee were the best chance they had to find a way of eventually defeating the Ori in some way or another. Sam had cried and said Daniel was just as important, but he didn’t believe that…or maybe he just didn’t want to. He also didn’t buy into the party line of living to fight another day. Not when half his life was still out there, fate unknown.

He’d talked Landry into letting him stay to push the button on the charges placed in the elevator shafts on the eighteenth level, the ones that sealed off the secret of the Stargate. The escape hatches had been filled with concrete, the elevator shafts blown to hell. No one was getting in from the surface, no one except Daniel that was. There was an Asgard transportation device hidden away in the woods around the mountain, in a place only Daniel, and Jack if he still lived, would know.


Two years ago:

“Jack? What the hell are you up to?”

A nibble on the back of his neck told Daniel what Jack was up to - or about to get up to - and that his lover was feeling no pain. The post-promotion party had gotten past the polite stage several hours before and the newly minted general was flying high on the strength of five Jack Daniels and Cokes in rapid succession. He was also very horny and had dragged the only slightly tipsy, and therefore still protesting, object of his horniness to the top of Cheyenne Mountain.

“You’ll see… “ Jack did that thing he did behind Daniel’s ear and suddenly his protests died away into the night.

Trying not to rush his lover, Daniel followed closely as Jack led him through the trees and brush deep into the forest. While Daniel had spent more than a little time on the mountain, he’d never come this far out before. Jack on the other hand seemed to be guided by more than his obvious lust. Like a well aimed missile, he drew them deeper into the trees toward a rocky granite overhang that looked almost like a …

“A cave?”

Jack nodded, the glow from his flashlight skipping across the rock like a drunken sprite.

“Yep.” Jack grabbed Daniel’s hand and pulled him toward the entrance. “And this one comes…. furnished.”

Furnished was a bit of an overstatement, but Daniel definitely agreed with Jack’s intent. And his ingenuity. The back wall of the cave was lined with canvas, in front of that was an air mattress draped in fleece blankets and a dozen pillows. Beside the mattress was an old Coke crate with candles, wine, and snacks. It was perfect.

“How the heck…?”

Jack grinned self-consciously. “When I was trying to make the decision on whether to accept this promotion or not, I came up here for a walk. I walked a lot.”

Drawing Daniel further into the cave, Jack pulled another blanket down to cover the entrance then moved to light the candles.

“I wasn’t sure how I felt about flying a desk. Not going out with the team anymore. Trusting someone else to take care of you.” Jack shrugged apologetically, knowing Daniel hated any implication that he couldn’t take care of himself.

“It’s funny, or not, I guess. But finding this place helped me realize that being ‘the man’ might not be so bad. This mountain is more than just the SGC, more than what’s out there. It’s me, it’s you, it’s this world. Everything we’ve fought so hard for. And if, once in a while, we can slip away from the reality of what’s inside this mountain and get back in touch with what’s really important… then it’s all good, isn’t it?”

Daniel just smiled, watching the man he loved more than life itself as if seeing him again for the first time. Reaching out a hand to draw Jack to him, Daniel leaned in for a kiss then pulled them both toward the mattress.

“Yes, Jack, it is all good…”


Back in the present

And it was all good. If he could go back and know what he did now, Daniel knew he would have lain awake that night memorizing the perfection of every moment. Jack, he could map with his eyes, his ears, his mouth, his hands. Daniel didn’t think he’d ever forget just where Jack liked to be touched, where he was most sensitive, that small patch of skin below his breast where a certain kind of kiss could take his breath away.

Daniel’s breath caught at the memory, drawing the attention of his companions.

“Okay?” Vala asked softly, closely followed by Mitchell’s, “Daniel?”

Shaking his head, Daniel tried to muster a smile for the two unlikely friends who had refused to let him make this trek alone. Despite their shaky beginnings and Vala’s persistent attentions, she had come back into their lives a much different woman than the one who had shot first and kissed later aboard the Prometheus so long ago.

Vala’s time among the Alterans had left shadows in her eyes, experiences both harrowing and appalling had finished the job of opening her heart that had begun when she’d tried and failed to help the natives on P8X-412 and in the alkesh above Kallana when she blocked the supergate at the cost of her own freedom for many months.  Vala had learned to live beyond her own pain, her own self interests, and was a much nicer, albeit still incredibly inventive, person for it.

Not that she hadn’t before, but Vala now hated the Ori with all the strength of will she had once applied to lining her intergalactic bank account and trying to get Daniel into bed. She still came out with the most outrageous suggestions at the most inconvenient times, but they both understood it was all façade now. Light-hearted banter to help ease the pain sometimes, to help make the unknown of their new lives a bit more bearable.

Mitchell had his own reasons for being along on this trip, not the least of which was the tragic death of his mother in the first wave of the Ori plague. He and Daniel had grown close over the long months of hiding out in the mountain to the point he’d even made a pass at Daniel one long lonely night while they sat in the dark hoping to avoid the Ori ships searching through the countryside trying to find them. Luckily, all the priors knew was that Earth had a stargate, not its location.

Incredible as it was, and for all their advancement in other areas, the Ori seemed to have skimped in the area of close range scanners. Daniel supposed they didn’t often come up against races that understood advanced technology, much less could analyze for weaknesses and exploit them.

It was that night Daniel had almost been tempted, so starved for the touch of his lover, so lonely and alone in not knowing if Jack was even still alive. But in the end, he’d gently refused the other man and told him the truth - that the only man in the world for him was Jack O’Neill and there was no way Daniel could even consider betraying their love if there was even a slim chance Jack was still alive. They’d held each other that night; Mitchell seeming satisfied with what he could get and offering the solace of touch and companionship in lieu of the wild monkey sex he half-jokingly said he would have considered offering up a limb for. 

Daniel had a feeling the man was waiting in the wings to pick up the pieces if Jack was dead, and a rarely acknowledged part of him was counting on that fact, but mostly he tried not to think about the possibility and worked at not taking advantage of the other man’s feelings.

“Just thinking,” Daniel explained quietly, he knew he didn’t have to elaborate.

Vala moved closer, wrapping her blanket around him while Mitchell came to his other side and draped an arm around both of them.

“We’re going to find him, Daniel. If he’s still alive, we will find him.”

Daniel could only nod, needing to believe.

Accepting the shared warmth, both physical and spiritual, of his friends, Daniel watched the horizon, waiting for the dawn light to appear so they could make their way into the city and see what was left of Washington DC.

Chapter Two
…picking up the pieces…


She’d seen more of this planet than she’d ever wanted to, but Vala knew she couldn’t have not made this journey with Daniel. In a strange way, she felt she owed him, not only for the outrageousness she’d subjected him to when they first met, but for precipitating the events that brought the Ori here in the first place. If she hadn’t come to Earth with that tablet and those double-damned bracelets, the galaxy would still be her plaything and she’d be happily amassing her fortune yet again.

Or not.

In a way, she couldn’t imagine being the person she had been. Looking back now, she wondered if she would ever have ever been able to view the galaxy as anything but a place which existed solely for her amusement and manipulation ever again. Her time among the Tau’ri, especially time spent in close proximity to Daniel Jackson, had changed her… for the better she believed. It felt better, certainly. 

Her enforced stay with the Ori had been some of the hardest months of her life, but she had grown in spite of herself. She’d come to see that big picture Daniel spoke of and found so important and there was no way for her to forget she had seen it now.

Especially not while looking at the ruins of what had once been a great city. She remembered Washington from the time she’d visited with Daniel, Teal’c, and the general to address the Appropriations Committee. While the city was rather primitive by some standards, she was nonetheless impressed by the grandeur of the place.

It had been the first and only time she’d met General O’Neill….


Twelve months before

After their little jaunt with the specious senator, General Landry had left them to arrange their return trip, leaving them at loose ends for several hours. Vala wanted to go shopping with Daniel’s ever so wonderful credit card, but Teal’c suggested a visit to O’Neill instead.

Daniel looked like a man caught between the goa’uld and a long swim in deep space without a suit, but nodded agreement before hailing a taxi. At first Vala believed he figured it was one sure way of keeping her out of trouble; she soon discovered she couldn’t have been more wrong.

Teal’c had mentioned O’Neill on more than a few occasions, though strangely Daniel rarely had. She had barely glimpsed the man once coming out of Daniel’s office late one night after their unfortunate experiences with the Ori. At first she’d been unsure whether she liked him or not. The body was nice, certainly, very nice considering his age, but it wasn’t until she’d seen him say something that lifted the dark shadows of fear and guilt from Daniel’s eyes that she decided she might grow to like O’Neill after all. Anyone who could make Daniel smile like that was definitely worthy in her eyes, goodness knows she’d found the job hard enough to manage.

They arrived before a well-appointed apartment building, all classic lines without being ostentatious. On the second floor, Daniel had made a half-hearted and rather comical attempt to turn around and leave, but Teal’c nothing if not determined and hauled Daniel back to the door by one arm before knocking sharply.

When O’Neill opened the door several things hit Vala at once. First were the keen brown eyes that took them each in from head to toe in the space of a breath. Second was the way his gaze hesitated and lingered on Daniel, softening slightly in concern at what he found there. Third was the way he looked at her like a man intent on threat assessing a teddy bear and deciding whether the stuffing was in need of removal.

There wasn’t a lot that frightened Vala, she’d seen and been through too much for that, but she immediately recognized a very real danger in General Jack O’Neill – as well as a rival.

Men loving men was nothing new to her - she’d enjoyed more than her share of watching and even participating a few times over the years, but Daniel Jackson and this sly stranger were as unlikely a pair as any she’d ever seen. And there was no doubt in her mind the two men were long time lovers, and deeply in love at that.

O’Neill invited them inside, taking possession of Daniel, leaving all of them with no doubt he had the right, and planting the poor boy in an overstuffed chair well away from Vala. The line was drawn in the space of a breath and she had to acknowledge it had been expertly done. O’Neill was loudly and firmly proclaiming ‘mine’ without having uttered a single word. Afterward, Teal’c enlisted her help to procure food and drink, effectively giving the pair some time alone in a way that would not have seemed at all suspicious to a less observant person than herself.

She wasn’t about to give up, no indeed; Daniel was a prize more than worth winning, but she knew when she was outclassed and had the grace to concede it wouldn’t be at all wise to pursue the ever-so-delicious lamb in the lion’s own den.

“So, Vala, about this necklace,” O’Neill’s drawling voice promised never-ending pain if she got Daniel hurt in the coming mission.

She believed him.


Back in the present

Picking their way through the debris of the once great city was made all the harder for having to avoid being seen. They were dressed in cloaks and robes, all the drab accoutrements of good little prostration groupies, but there was also a risk to dressing this way. There were more than a few Ori haters who would shoot them, or anyone they felt had betrayed their world and their way of life, on sight. Washington was nearly deserted, however, so they had met only a few random scavengers, only one of whom was obviously armed. Luckily the person had been just as wary of them and had faded into the shadows as quickly as possible.

Most of the landmarks she’d noticed the first time were now gone. The great obelisk she remembered from her first trip laid on its side, broken like a sapling in the wind. The presidential palace was nowhere to be seen, ground into dust. The five sided building she remembered the general telling her was the site where military matters were decided no longer stood either. The Ori appeared to have known just what to hit in order to damage the ability of these people to resist.

It was difficult to find their way to O’Neill’s apartment building. Daniel, however, seemed to be pushing through the rubble using some sort of internal radar. Vala doubted he was actually seeing much of the massive destruction all around them; he was working so hard at seeing things as they had been, trying to find his way to O’Neill.

Mitchell - despite his invitation, there was no way could Vala call him Cam with a straight face, though she had learned he had an interesting shaft on a couple of occasions during their journey – just took one of Daniel’s elbows while she took the other and kept him from falling on his face. They were both quite sure O’Neill would kill them if something happened to Daniel, even if O’Neill was already dead himself.

Where once she might have felt a passing regret at the death of a rival, Daniel’s love for O’Neill was of a kind she had rarely seen much less experienced. She loved Daniel enough to want his happiness, or at least as much happiness as he could find in what was left of his world, so she was adjusting to becoming a friend rather than a predator… er, potential lover.

“Daniel?” It was Mitchell, sounding worried when Daniel stopped moving.

They were there. Vala recognized the remains of a stone lion she remembered as having stood beside the steps leading to O’Neill’s apartment. The building was actually in fair shape, the front windows of the lobby were shattered, but there didn’t seem to be any major structural damage.

Understandably, Daniel seemed reluctant to go inside. They’d come all this way and now the answers may stand before them, but it was fear of the wrong answer that held them now. The journey that had driven them all would soon be complete.

Or would begin again.

Chapter Three
…where has my heart gone…


Crap, crap, crap.

He’d been afraid of this. There was no sign at all of O’Neill at the apartment. Mitchell could see Daniel’s hope eroding by slow painful degrees as he traveled from room to room, finding O’Neill’s uniform hanging on the bedroom door, seeing the remnants of several take out meals on the table.

Man, the guy ate like he’d never heard of LDL.

He and Vala finally got Daniel to drink a little soup then made him lie down on the bed. They both knew Daniel needed a little privacy as much as he needed rest in order to get a handle on things. And if he knew Vala like he thought he knew Vala, Mitchell figured there’d been an extra ingredient in that soup to make sure Daniel got some actual sleep tonight.

Picking through the possibly dead general’s cupboards was only slightly unsettling, but they needed fresh supplies and one of them had to be practical. Unlike Vala who, upon discovering the hot water heater had a nice big reservoir, had drained the majority of it into the bathtub and used her hand device to heat it up somehow.

Actually, a bath didn’t sound half bad…

Double-checking that the door was well barricaded and the windows completely covered, Mitchell took the candle he’d been using to pilfer supplies and headed toward the bathroom. Pushing open the door he leaned against the jamb and enjoyed the view.

He had to admit, Vala was one fine figure of a female. She was in the middle of washing her hair, rinsing the shampoo out of the sleek blackness and practically bringing herself to orgasm in the process.

“Do you mind?” he asked, indicating his own dirty face and hands.

She just smiled and shook her head, “The water is still warm. Actually, we should try to get Daniel in here, too. Might make him feel better.”

Mitchell shook his head ruefully, taking his shirt off and dumping it in the hamper. Habit, he supposed, there’d be no laundry in their future for quite some time.

“I think it’s going to take more than a little hot water to do that.”

Nodding grimly, Vala stood in the tub, making no effort at all to cover herself even when he handed over a towel. She smiled thanks and used it to dab at her hair as she stepped out and left the room, completely immodest about covering her very appealing body. For such a sexual creature, he knew somehow that this wasn’t posturing; she wasn’t out to tempt him, she was simply comfortable in her own skin.

Removing his pants, he padded over and stepped into the tub, letting himself sink into the water slowly. He had to admit that, while he might have been tempted to encourage a little sexual play with Vala, twelve inches of warm, soapy water and the prospect of being truly clean were an even bigger temptation.

He slipped down as far as he could in the tub and used a washcloth to douse his head. Vala had the right idea, after almost a month of traveling the simple act of getting clean in something that didn’t also accommodate fish really was almost an orgasmic experience. They’d trekked almost straight east from Colorado to DC: on foot, on horseback, across the Mississippi River and up the Ohio courtesy of a few logs and an Ori power supply Vala produced from her seemingly bottomless bag of tricks.

They’d traveled a long, hard road and Mitchell wasn’t sure if it was over even now. Somehow he didn’t think Daniel would let go of the man he loved without one hell of a fight.


Three months prior

“Mitch…”

Mitchell found he liked this nickname Daniel had bestowed on him. No one else had ever called him that and no one else ever would. Especially not another man Mitchell would kill to have look at him the way Daniel looked at O’Neill when he thought no one was looking.

With a sigh, Mitchell rolled over onto his back; removing his dick from the vicinity of the one place it most assuredly wanted to be. They’d fallen asleep holding each other in the dark, Daniel feeling anxious and alone, Mitchell willing to do anything it took to make those shadows in Daniel’s eyes go away…if only for a little while. 

Masculine physiology being what it was, he’d gravitated in the night until he was spooned up against Daniel’s deliciously curved ass and his dick had risen to the occasion with extreme prejudice. Looking down beneath the blankets he moaned a little knowing he was harder than he’d been in his life and there was no way either it or him would be getting what they wanted any time in the near future..

A soft touch on his face brought his gaze back to Daniel. Looking down on him with an almost tender expression.

“I can’t. You understand that?”

Mitchell nodded. Part of him hated O’Neill for coming between him and this most desirable man, but another part coveted such a love for himself.

“That doesn’t mean you can’t, um…”

Damned if the man didn’t blush like a schoolgirl.

He really was suggesting Mitchell take matters into his own hands, and didn’t seem in a hurry to give him privacy to take care of business. Okay, kinky but not so bad. And if they couldn’t share everything Mitchell wanted, they could have this moment, in this bed, together in the only way they could be.

~*~

“Really, Vala, I don’t want a… “

“You’ll feel better, Daniel, and considering we’re all sleeping in an actual bed tonight, I insist.”

Mitchell grinned knowing Vala had won the argument. He couldn’t remember the exact night they’d wound up cuddled together in their sleep during their travels, but from that moment onward, it had become a regular thing. Sometimes Mitchell knew Daniel worried that he was depending on them too much, but they all needed the comfort and the contact. It wasn’t weakness to accept help from one’s friends.

A rumpled Daniel stumbled through the door, propelled gently from behind by a determined and now t-shirt clad Vala. Mitchell figured his bath time was over so he started to get up when Daniel waved him back.

“Stay, I want to shave first.”

Vala sat down on the toilet seat and watched as Daniel shed his shirt, using it to scrub at his face before dumping it into the hamper with a grimace, probably realizing the same thing Mitchell had earlier. With the unerring surety of previous experience, Daniel gathered what he’d need to shave – razor, shaving cream, and a cup from the medicine cabinet which he filled in the tepid bath water.

Only once did Mitchell see Daniel falter, when a newspaper crossword puzzle fell out of the medicine cabinet. Daniel almost, almost broke down but that famous Jackson strength kicked in and they could see him regain control and continue on. Anyone who didn’t know the man might have missed it, might have thought the fleeting frown was nothing more than a passing headache, might have thought the flash of brightness in his eyes was nothing of consequence. They knew better. But they also knew that Daniel was working damn hard at keeping himself together and there was no way they’d let his effort go to waste.

Daniel was due a breakdown, no doubt, but not now. There’d be time enough later and they would both help him in every way they could.

Chapter Four
…darkest hour…


He thought they’d never leave him alone.

As much as he appreciated their friendship and caring, Daniel desperately needed some time to himself. They’d been in each others’ back pockets for so long now, since the attack and throughout this long journey to find Jack, a little solitude was something to be treasured. It was a double-edged sword, really. When they were together, they didn’t always let him dwell on Jack, though the fear and the hope were never far from his thoughts no matter what he was doing. When he was alone… it was all he thought about.

Jack was so much a part of Daniel now, not thinking about him was nearly impossible. Even here in his bathroom. The two of them had spent enough time together in DC to christen just about every room and every surface in this apartment. There were memories in every corner, every room, every inch of space.

If he’d only known the last time might actually have been the last time…

No.

There was no use in regrets. He and Jack had never practiced regret; the way they lived their lives didn’t allow them the luxury. Every time they were together, from the very first night when they’d done more fumbling than actual sex, could have been the last and they both knew it. The fact made them treasure what they had, when they had it, all the more.

The water was tepid and cloudy with the accumulated soap scum and road dirt of all three of them now. Daniel thought he might be weirded out by the idea of sharing something as incongruously intimate as bathwater but over the years he’d lived in too many homes with too many kids and not enough resources to allow the luxury of pristine clean water for all. He remembered the simple joy of being the first in the bath and the remarkable sense of family when he was not. It was a paradox, but not one he really wanted to examine too closely. Especially in this bath, in this room.

He and Jack had shared more than one romantic evening in this very tub, the entire room guttering with many more candles than the few Vala had lit earlier. Scented water, good wine, warmth that came from much more than the steaming water.

He remembered Sunday crosswords, like the one that had fallen out of the medicine cabinet earlier. Jack always saved the really hard ones for Daniel’s visits and they’d work them together in the quiet, tender moments between lovemaking and catching up on each others daily lives. It had been a crazy way to maintain a relationship but, after a whole lot of practice, they’d been getting really good at.

So many nights Daniel would fall asleep with his cell phone relating Jack’s precise thoughts about the idiots in charge in DC, and Jack would have to finally call on the land line to tell him to turn it off. Sometimes Jack would call at the oddest times, as if he somehow knew when Daniel needed him most. They’d talk or just breathe into the phone, taking solace in knowing the other man was breathing at the same time, safe and whole. Jack had become an expert text messenger, shooting out a quick ‘luv u’ or ‘hmm, pie’ when he was bored or just thinking of Daniel instead of concentrating on the job at hand. Texting was a kind of high tech version of doodling and perfectly suited to Jack. Daniel had planned to buy the man a Blackberry, to enhance his ability to irritate the shit out of him in new and different ways.

It would have been great….

Daniel felt the sob rise in his throat and fought to keep it down. The apartment was too quiet; hell, the whole damn world was too quiet. He couldn’t cry now, not here and definitely not with Vala and Mitchell a few paces down the hall, voices rising and falling in now familiar tones as they conversed in the bedroom. He needed to be alone, yet he knew he couldn’t bear to be completely alone right now.

It was crazy. Once upon a time, he’d been a master of living very comfortably inside his own skin. Long, long ago, now. Before Jack. Before the other half of his soul had broken through his reticence and showed him everything he’d been missing for so long.

Daniel swiped a stray tear from his cheek, only then realizing it wasn’t the first.

Grabbing a towel, he got out of the tub and dressed as quickly as he could, trying not to think too much about the fact that these were Jack’s clothes he was putting on, and that Jack would be incredibly pissed that Daniel needed to notch up the belt three more holes than he ever had before. He could hear it now… Jack would demand that Daniel eat more than any three men could finish then bug the hell out of him until he felt so incredibly loved and valued he’d almost want to scream…


~*~

Several months ago

“Jack….” Just the right hint of whine, guaranteed to stop Jack in his tracks.

He loved the man to pieces, but he was not going to just lie there and submit to having his temperature taken there just because Jack picked up the wrong kind of thermometer in his haste to buy out the corner drugstore.  It was just a damn cold.

Jack halted in his advance, looking between the small glass tube in his hand and the well-covered ass of his lover. It took about twenty seconds for the demonic hen glare to shift through a myriad of emotions, including - thankfully - apologetic embarrassment, ending on a slightly, very slightly, less obsessive one of concern.

Jack sat down on the bed beside Daniel, his back turned, after carefully disposing of the offensive thermometer, and sighed. “Makes me crazy when you get sick….”

Daniel nodded, he knew it did. Knew anything that caused Daniel pain or discomfort was hated with a passion by his lover. It was when that hate transmuted into some strange form of obsessive-compulsive TLC unique only to Jack that things got bizarre.

“Makes me wish I took better care of you. Could be there with you, keep you safe…”

Daniel reached out a hand from beneath the blanket and rubbed his lover’s back in acceptance. He knew why Jack reacted the way he did, he just wasn’t always in the best of conditions to be supportive and understanding when it happened. “You’re always with me, Jack. Even when you’re…”

“A thousand miles away? As the crow flies? It’s too far some days, Daniel. Most every night.”

“I know…Me too.” Daniel felt the same, but this was the life they had to lead, for now.

Jack turned to face Daniel finally, an expression of immeasurable love and need on his face. He didn’t say anything, he didn’t need to. This language could possess no words, could never be reduced to something as mundane as crude letters and jangled syllables. It was a language only they two could speak; a language as necessary as breathing and as infinite as the universe…and theirs alone.

~*~

The stumbling of Daniel’s footsteps in the hall was their only warning.

Vala bounced away from Mitchell in the middle of a playful kiss, bounding after Daniel and catching him before he could reach the door.

“You can’t go out there alone, Daniel.”

Daniel nodded harshly, it was clear he knew going out into the depressing, broken city was a bad idea, but he was determined to go nonetheless. To do something, anything to ease his pain.

“I just... I need…”

Vala didn’t think Daniel had any idea what he needed, short of the good General O’Neill live and in the flesh right in front of him. Unfortunately, it was one thing she could not give him. Yet.

She moved slowly toward Daniel, as one might approach an injured animal, her hand gently reaching for his face.

“We’ll find him, Daniel. I promise. Tomorrow.”

Daniel looked at her with a gaze both lost and hopeful. “How can you be so sure?”

She let her hand soothe his cheek, moving closer to pull his resistant body into her arms. “Because I know you and I know him. Well, I don’t really know him, but I do know you. And I know, beyond any doubt, that if there is any way he could survive and find you again, he will.”

Vala felt Daniel’s body sag against her as he sighed deeply. He was, finally, emotionally and physically acquiescing, too tired to resist any longer. With very little effort, Vala steered Daniel toward the bedroom, hoping he could find, if not peace, at least a little rest.

Chapter Five
…the next step…


Damn, the man had enough coffee to start his own Starbucks. Or to satisfy one Daniel Jackson on a regular basis. This was instant, but Mitchell was pretty sure Daniel wouldn’t mind considering they’d run out the other side of the Mississippi River.  Mitchell put a spoon each into their mugs then dug into the cupboard again to find Ziploc bags. He’d put at least a couple jars and a pound of ground coffee into his pack. No telling if they’d ever find coffee again where they were going… wherever they were going next. They’d have to talk about possible destinations when Daniel woke up.

Mitchell had been a little surprised when Vala brought Daniel to bed, even more surprised when Daniel let them both hold him while he, however discreetly, cried himself to sleep. It had been hard, probably for all of them, but Daniel had needed to be held. To hold Daniel, however, was to want more of Daniel at the best of times. These were far from the best of times.

Sighing, Mitch dived into the cupboards once more. Breakfast would be nice and surely there were some non-perishables…

Peanut butter, crackers, cereal, dry milk, canned everything. Oh yeah, this was the home of a military man… or a boy scout. Always prepared.

Canned peaches and cereal for breakfast, then…and the peanut butter, crackers, and some canned goods into the pack too.

Now the only question, this morning at least, was… where were they heading next?

~*~

It was the one and only time he’d ever met the famous General George Hammond. O’Neill had put together a big barbecue thing at his cabin in Colorado (not to be confused with his cabin in Minnesota which no one but SG1 ever got invited to). Landry was there, SG1, Bill Lee, Lou Feretti, Jim Reynolds, and their families, Cassandra Fraiser, Jacob Carter, Bra’tac, and Ishta. It had been a great day of great food and better company.

People had filtered away around dusk. Only Mitchell, Jacob Carter, Daniel, and Bra’tac were still there. Teal’c and Ishta had gone off together, Sam and Pete took off with Cassie, the other assorted colonels and generals had headed home. Daniel and O’Neill had gathered wood for a bonfire, setting out beer, hotdogs, and marshmallows, then disappeared back into the house not to be seen again the rest of the night. Mitchell thought they were pretty damn obvious with the whole ‘we vant to be alone’ gig, but if the other men caught on they weren’t saying a word.

That stunt had been Mitchell’s first big clue that there was more between O’Neill and Daniel than a decade of service and friendship. He had to admit, it hurt a little. Mitchell had known from the moment he’d met Daniel that he could grow to love him. A few months of missions and after hours camaraderie had only cemented those initial feelings. Not that Daniel had ever given him any reason to hope, Daniel never would, but Mitchell loved him just the same. He’d never met anyone quite like Daniel.

And it wasn’t just the living (and dying, on occasion) legend of the great Doctor Daniel Jackson Mitchell was drawn to. It was the whole package: the gentle nature until he was crossed, the incredibly sharp mind and wit, the dedication to doing the right thing no matter the personal cost, the ability to see the big picture most people didn’t even realize was there, and so much more.

And then, of course, there was the phenomenal body… a body both firm and deceptively soft at once - imminently capable and yet non-threatening until the need arose. Daniel was a true sleeping tiger, beautiful and deceptively almost placid at times, until the need for his great strength, of body and mind, arose. Then it was time to duck.

Not that Daniel was perfect, not by any means. He had a temper Mitchell’s mama would have called the devil’s own. He could get pissy over the strangest things and then turn around and pull a fast one with a face only the angels could equal.

And, damn it all, he belonged to O’Neill. No… he belonged with O’Neill, and Mitchell couldn’t find it in his heart to begrudge either man.

Through the rest of that weekend, he watched the two men. Watched as they shared little looks and subtle touches, fought and laughed, smiled and grumbled as they fished or grilled or walked in the woods. They… fit. In a way both subtle and grand. They were the other half of each other. True love… they were not just words in a movie, but a concept and a lifestyle that was alive and well in the incredible bond between Jack O’Neill and Daniel Jackson.

~*~

Mitchell tied off the pack and started piling the things they would take with them by the back door. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted the laundry alcove and decided to go on an underwear hunt.

Underclothes were the one thing they didn’t have and something he’d found very necessary on the road. Even Vala had developed a liking for flannel boxers. There wasn’t always time to stop and wash ‘unmentionables’, as his granny had called them, and, he had to face it, the lack of toilet paper was a big reason behind the lack of underwear. There was only so much a person’s ass could take…

What was that?

Down behind the trash can, like it had fallen off the wall… a calendar. This year’s calendar. Mitchell picked it up and turned it to the right month, intending to put it back on its nail on the wall.

Then he saw it.

September third. The day before the attack. ‘Fish w/George’. On the fourth and the fifth, too, then a note about a meeting at the Pentagon.

Mitchell backed up, calendar in hand, to the kitchen table. He didn’t want to raise false hope. It was always possible O’Neill hadn’t made the trip to Hammond’s or that, even if he had, that he still hadn’t survived, but…

It was hope.

“Daniel! Vala!”

Chapter Six
…the broken yellow brick road…


When George Hammond had retired, well, semi-retired as it turned out, he’d bought a country home on Jackson River in Northwest Virginia. Close enough to D.C. to be accessible, but far enough away to enjoy his life when not needed to do the many things he did so well. Jack had been full of naughty puns at name of the river, of course, promising many long hours of ‘in Jackson’ ‘on Jackson’….and vice versa.

Daniel had only been to the house once. They had gone there together for a week or so when Daniel was recovering following the whole bracelet debacle. It had taken almost a month for him to fully regain his strength, not to mention reconciling himself to Vala’s loss and a large amount of confusion over what that meant to him. Between George and Jack, Daniel had been fed, coddled, and supported until he was able to resolve his remorse over not listening to Vala the one time when it could have made such a difference with a great relief that he was finally able to move freely. 

It was a hundred miles, more or less, from DC. Mitch had appropriated a map at an abandoned tourist center and they’d used it to plot a course leading them out of the city and into the Shenandoah Forest. There the James River flowed into the Jackson River and it would take them right to George’s place without once having to step foot on land. Both rivers were very winding, which would make the journey somewhat longer, but they felt safer on the water.


Some camouflage of branches and dry brush created a nest of pseudo safety they hoped would keep them from being spotted easily. A device from Vala’s bag of tricks propelled them at a much faster rate than natural flotsam would travel, but they had very little choice. Or rather, they had a choice, but reasoned the time saved would be worth the risk.

Whether they found Jack or not, they had to evade detection. 

Daniel could still remember the Doci’s, and later several of the priors, interest in him. Both Vala and Mitchell seemed to think it meant something, but Daniel wasn’t so sure. Yeah, he’d ascended once, but his connection to the Ancients was finished the moment Oma had taken on Anubis and the Others had kicked him back to Earth so fast his head had been spinning for a week. There was nothing he could offer as a hostage, nothing he could or willingly would tell the Ori that would help their cause… the Others had made sure of that. And, who knew, maybe the existence of the Ori were the reason his memory of his time as an ascended had been removed.

Daniel was trying very hard not to hope too much concerning what they might find at George’s place. When Mitch had run into the bedroom with Jack’s calendar, Daniel’s first instinct, after displacing Vala’s hand from the close vicinity of his dick, had been to deny the possibility. The disappointment of the day before was still too fresh; the hope that had nearly died took time to resurrect itself.

It made sense. Jack knew Daniel would have been off world most of that weekend. Plus he and Hammond rarely missed a chance to do the whole Two Ol’ Geezers thing on the river bank.

If Daniel didn’t like Hammond so much, he’d almost have been jealous, but he understood that the two men shared a love of the outdoors and an understanding of the fine art of male bonding that was good for both of them even if it sometimes excluded Daniel.

~*~

Two months ago

“I swear Jack, if George Hammond was twenty years younger, you’d leave me for him….”

Jack almost choked on Daniel’s cock before pulling back and laughing so hard the moment was immediately and irretrievably lost.

In between hoots, Jack choked out, “George…and… me?”

Daniel didn’t know where the thought had come from. Just one of those tangents his brain tended to take… especially before, during, and after coitus. He wasn’t seriously jealous of George Hammond. But he had come to understand the uniqueness of the friendship between the two men and knew it was something he would never fully share with Jack.

“Where do you come up with these things?”

Daniel just shrugged and reached for the cup of cold coffee on the nightstand. “I know you wouldn’t it’s just that…”

“George knows what a Studebaker is?”

“Yeah. And a, what was it, a…”

“Gibson Girl.”

“Yeah, that…Jack, I looked it up. You aren’t old enough to know what a Gibson Girl is.”

 “Neither is George, if you think about it. It’s a cultural thing, just a little more recent than you’re used to.”

“Like The Simpsons and Wizard of Oz and Desperate Housewives?”

“You aren’t supposed to know about the Housewives….” Jack grumbled.

Leaning over, Daniel kissed Jack on the nose. “Need to hide your DVR stash better…”

As Jack reached around Daniel’s neck to pull him into an embrace, they started to laugh.

“I really wouldn’t leave you for George.” Jack grew serious.  “Not for anyone…ever...”

“Not even Emeril?” Jack’s other guilty pleasure.

“Nah…He can cook, but you’ve got a way better ass.”

“Well, bam….”

~*~

“We’ve got Ori goons on the shore.” Mitch whispered.

Daniel looked where the other man was pointing. Three men wearing the robes of Ori followers could be seen just beyond the shrubs and brush on the riverbank. They didn’t seem armed, but Daniel couldn’t tell what they were doing.

Vala backed off the power on their debris boat and they slowed, drifting with the current. As they drew closer to the three men, Daniel could see they weren’t alone. There were two people on their knees, tied to stakes driven into the ground. He recognized military uniforms on the prisoners.

“Oh my god….”

“What do we do?” Daniel asked. They had to do something.

Vala shook her head, clearly against the idea. “I thought we weren’t going to draw attention to ourselves…”

“We can’t just let them kill those men!” Daniel hissed, barely remembering to keep his voice down.

Vala sighed. “I know you want to help them, Daniel, but we also know the Ori are very unhealthily interested in you. We can’t afford to let you fall into their hands.”

Shaking his head, Daniel took both his friends by the hand. “What we can’t afford is to forget why we’re a people who deserve to be saved.”

Chapter Seven
…a stopping place…



It was a bad idea. Vala knew it was. Mitchell knew it was. Even Daniel probably knew it was.

But who could look at Daniel when he was being all noble and moral and not just follow his lead?

Apparently not her. Or Mitchell. Or the majority of the SGC and all of its allies. Pity they couldn’t bottle whatever it was about Daniel Jackson that made him so…so…. Daniel.

They’d come ashore a few hundred yards down river from the Ori goons, as Mitchell called them, then spent a good ten minutes trying and failing to convince Daniel to stay behind. Mitchell had gone left, Vala right, with Daniel coming up in the middle where they both could keep an eye on him. Between them, they had two zats, Mitchell’s P90, and three pistols. Not much of an arsenal, but they did have surprise on their side so maybe it wouldn’t be a complete disaster.

Once in position, Vala looked over to see Mitchell gesturing to Daniel in that weird, military hand language that looked more to her like he was passing some particularly painful flatulence than communicating anything of importance. Whatever he was saying, Daniel didn’t like it. There was no mistaking the downward chop of his hand. Even without speech, Daniel could be irritatingly erudite.

She couldn’t hear it, but she was sure Mitchell was sighing as he nodded sharply. Not a happy colonel, that one.

Finally Mitchell raised five fingers, a countdown. When the last finger fell, they would move.

On three, they tensed and prepared. On two, the men in the clearing started shouting at each other, ‘Hallowed are the Ori’. On one, they started to rise when they heard a new sound in the clearing; a voice both she and Daniel could place immediately.

“Hallowed are the children of the Ori.”


A year before


“You speak well, Daniel Jackson of the planet Earth.”

It was him.

The same heartless, sycophantic administrator from Ver Ager who’d burned her alive without blinking, without a moment’s guilt. Only now he bore the disfiguring scars and pale coloration of the Ori priors. A reward or a punishment, she wondered.

“What is a god?” the man asked.  “What power is great enough to make you bow down in humble reverence?”

“That's the one that tried to burn us to death…twice.” Vala told Mitchell.

Mitchell didn’t say anything, just held his weapon tighter.

“There's only one measure,” the man continued in that same tone of placid conviction. “The only question you may ask yourself is why must I believe? What is there for any and all to gain by choosing the Path of Origin? Those seeking eternal salvation can follow the word of the Ori. Those that do not shall die as mortals. It is as simple as that. The day of reckoning approaches. Your destiny awaits.”

The villager who had been healed tried to placate the prior. “I have told them of the Ori, Prior. Many of us believe.”

“But not all of us,” Daniel stated flatly.

“You doubt the power of the Ori?”

“No…. But I understand how they got it, and because I do, I'm not willing to abandon my own free will and worship them for it.”

“The Ori healed this man, this man that was sick. This man who could barely walk.”

“This man was healed through knowledge,” Daniel said. “We have medicine. We have tools that can do much the same thing. This device…” Daniel picked up Vala's goa'uld healing device, “…has the power to heal…if you know how to use it. But not by magical power. It's called technology.”

“Technology.” The prior spat out the word.

“Yes. Knowledge. Understanding. Of the way things work. Of the science of the universe.”

“Maybe so. But consider this. There are two men, one is starving and the other has a plentiful crop. Is it not wrong for the fortunate man to horde his harvest? Should he not share with his hungry brother?”
The prior circled the crowd, coming around full circle to stand before Daniel again, challenging him.
“It is the same with "knowledge and understanding’. As you have said, the Ori have a greater understanding of the universe, but most importantly, they are willing share it with us, out of their love for us, their creation.” The prior looked directly into Daniel’s eyes. “Only a fool would turn away.”

Mirroring the prior’s actions, Daniel circled the crowd in the opposite direction. “Just because the Ori know more than we do, doesn't make them gods. They are beings who were once like you and me, but they evolved. They learned of humanity's potential. Eventually, over time, they used that knowledge to shed their physical bodies and live as energy on another…higher plane of existence.” Like the prior, Daniel finished his circle in a face off.

It seemed to Vala that Daniel was not helping their cause by telling these simple people that the Ori and the Ancients were people like them who had changed form and gained such great power. For people like these, power made a man a god.

“Which side is he on?” she whispered to Mitchell.

“You are all children of the Ori, but you have been raised by evil. The true nature of the universe has been kept from you by powers that would have you stray from the Path of Origin. It is time to open your eyes! Let Origin show you the way.”

Moving down the great hall, Daniel was thinking carefully about his words, Vala could tell. “No, you're right. Maybe hoarding knowledge is wrong….or maybe it's not. Maybe, learning something for yourself is part of the journey to enlightenment.” Daniel paused, coming back to face the prior once more. “But killing someone for not worshiping you, regardless of your power, is wrong. Very wrong. Knowledge is power, but how you use that power defines whether you are good, or evil.”

And it was nearly impossible to argue with that.


Back in the present

The prior was speaking to the men. Vala was further away than her two companions, but she could hear most of what was said. The prior examined the two prisoners, then turned and sneered at the goons.

“Neither of these is Daniel Jackson.”

Without warning, the prior angrily tapped his staff on the ground once, hard, and the two captives disappeared in a sudden burst of fire that came and went almost instantaneously, leaving only fine white ash in the place where the soldiers had been.

The goons were scared, going down on their knees before the prior. “We’re sorry, m’lord. The uniforms….”

Another tap of the staff, and a mist rose from the glowing head projecting an image of Daniel from Celestis with a beard then another from with him clean shaven and wearing civilian clothing. Daniel hadn’t worn civilian clothes since before the attack which meant the Ori had been monitoring Daniel on Earth for months.

“This is Daniel Jackson. He must be found. He was sighted three days ago at the river that divides this continent. The Doci arrives in two days; he wants Daniel Jackson, alive and waiting for him.”

One thing about many of the Earth converts, they were twice as mean as the villagers across the universe, but they were at once more cowardly and more resentful at being ordered around. A life of freedom, centuries of freedom, did not make for good slave material.

The one who had spoken before seemed to win a battle with himself. “If he’s here, we’ll find him.” No ‘m’lord’ this time, just an affirmation that he would do what he had to in order not to end up like the poor soldiers had a few minutes earlier. Vala couldn’t even say she didn’t understand.

Chapter Eight
When choices are not choices…


This was bad.

Really, really bad.

Scanning the shore on both sides of the river with renewed vigilance, Mitchell found himself flashing back to prayers long forgotten, learned at the knee of his granny. The Ori wanted Daniel, wanted him bad… and that just couldn’t be good.

They had another ten miles or so to go on the river. From what Daniel had told them, the general’s house had its own pier so they would be able to sail right up to it. But after the events in the forest, Mitchell worried now they might be heading right into a trap. They had no way to know just how much the Ori knew about Daniel’s life on Earth. They’d been watching Daniel for at least a month before the attack going by the image the prior had shown.

Did they know about O’Neill? About Hammond’s house?

Dammit. There were way too many variables to consider, and not nearly enough intel.

Daniel was looking a little lost, like someone had kicked his puppy then drowned it for good measure. Mitchell reached over to squeeze the other man’s shoulder in comfort. There wasn’t anything he could say, he knew that… but Daniel needed to recognize he wasn’t alone, no matter what they discovered at Hammond’s place.

Daniel sighed and nodded, acknowledging the gesture, trying and failing to smile reassuringly. There was nothing any of them could do for now and they all knew it.

A vibrating sound had Vala digging into her bag and coming out with her goa’uld communication orb. A touch brought up Sam’s fluctuating face on the surface of the sphere.

“What’s up, Sam?” Mitchell asked quietly.

“We think we’ve figured out how to develop an antibody against the Ori plague, but we need a blood sample from the prior it originated from.”

“I’ll put that on my Christmas list….”

“I know it will be hard, but we think we have something that will help.”

They all perked up at that news and listened as Sam explained.

“Doctor Lee and I have been working on a way of targeting and neutralizing the higher brain functions we believe the priors are accessing using a field generator emitting fluctuating ultrasonic frequencies.”

“Like Khalek?”

“Exactly, Daniel, that’s where we got the idea. We think we’ve got it ready, just a few more tests.”

“So, if it works, how do we get it here?”

“Still working on that, but General Landry is confident we can do it. How are things there?”

Mitchell appreciated that Sam didn’t directly ask about O’Neill. Not only was it kinder for Daniel’s sake, there was always a chance the Ori could tap into their communications.

“We’re on our way to the, um, bigger bird’s nest. We think we might find a few eggs there.”

Mitchell couldn’t help a small thrill at the confused look on Sam’s face as she figured out what he was trying to say. It wasn’t often he was able to rattle her. As expected though, she got it… and the reason behind it.

“Anything else I should know, Cam?”

“Just that the big bads are showing an unhealthy interest in Our Boy Blue.”

Sam looked worried. “Are you safe?”

“For now. If things don’t…” with an apologetic look at Daniel…”pan out, we’ll get back to The Precious and head your way.”

Precious was code for the Stargate, a bigger ring than Frodo ever knew. Sometimes being military could be a fan boy’s dream. Where else could a grown man say things like that and not be considered strange?

“I have to go, we should probably keep communications to a minimum. I’ll call again when we’re ready.”

“Got it. Bye, Sam.”

“Be careful,” Sam cautioned and signed off.

Vala cleared her throat and waited for both of them to look at her. “Gentlemen, I believe we have arrived.”

Chapter Nine
…feels like home…


The house looked deserted.

The windows were boarded up, plywood covered the doors. The landscaping George always took such pride in was overgrown, the old frame house already being reclaimed by nature. It looked to Daniel like the house had been closed for the season, or abandoned altogether.

“We should take a closer look,” Mitchell offered, maybe sensing Daniel’s mounting despair.

“What if it’s a trap?” Vala, the ever pragmatic.

“I have to know, Vala. You two can stay here; I’ll slip into the house and look around.”

Both his companions nearly shouted an adamant “No!” 

Daniel couldn’t help but smile at their blatant protectiveness, it reminded him of….

“We’ll go up around the barn,” Mitchell declared. “We stick together and keep our eyes open. If anything looks the slightest bit off, we head for the hills.”

Daniel nodded in agreement. It was more than he expected and a risk, but he had to know Jack’s fate… one way or the other.

Mitchell took point and motioned for Vala to stay with Daniel, who figured he wasn’t going to be left alone for anything anytime soon. Which maybe was a good thing. He was trying very hard not to think beyond what they might find on the other side of George’s door. If Jack wasn’t there, hadn’t been there, he knew they couldn’t spend any more time looking for him. Too much was at stake and now that Sam had a plan in motion, it would be up to them to carry it through.

He wasn’t ready to let go of Jack, of the hope of finding Jack, but he knew the time may come - soon - when he might not have a choice.

Following Vala up the steep bank on the east side of the house, Daniel looked around the property. The barn looked just as deserted as the house, windows boarded up and a big padlock on the door. The boat house was locked as well, and even the garden gate was chained. It looked as if George had taken off for the winter and, if Daniel didn’t know any better, he’d believe it… except George lived at the house year round. Unlike the neighboring houses, this wasn’t a seasonal retreat only dusted off and occupied in the right seasons, it was George’s home.

Daniel couldn’t imagine, if Jack had been here with George, they’d have taken the time to board up and lock the place only to leave it behind. Was it possible they’d done it for show? To throw off any suspicious observers?

Vala tapped Daniel on the shoulder and they ducked as one into the cover of the overgrown yard. Daniel looked where she was pointing and saw a basket of apples sitting against the side of the barn. It seemed innocuous on the surface of things, it was a farm after all, but the apples were too fresh. There was no sign of rot on the tender skins, none of the yellow jackets circling lazily about the yard seemed at all attracted to the fruit. It was as if someone had been picking them and been interrupted. By them, perhaps?

Daniel had the sudden, certain feeling of being watched and opened his mouth to warn Vala when another voice spoke first.

“About time you got here…..”

It was Jack.


~*~

Eighteen months ago

‘About time you got here.’

It had become their code for ‘I love you’, ‘I’ve missed you’, ‘I want to climb inside you right this minute and never come out again’.

There were so many times, given their jobs and the situations they often found themselves in, when there was simply no time to get away from other people and say what they really wanted to, needed to. Over time, especially since Jack had accepted the promotion, they’d both come to use the simple, innocuous phrase as a substitute for all the things they couldn’t say when and where they wanted and needed to say them. It had been both a comfort and a source of bittersweet grief.

The last time Daniel had disappeared, brutally murdered by Sam’s replicator double and then been whisked away to Oma’s Glowy Diner in the Higher Planes for a little bait and switch with Anubis and the dispassionate Others. He’d been sent back, naked, into Jack’s office just in time to disclaim any knowledge of the events of the battle against the replicators, not entirely true but he had been somewhat distracted at the time. Being naked in Jack’s office was an old fantasy of theirs, the only thing missing had been Jack.

“Whoa!”

Daniel hadn’t missed the instant and obvious reaction of Jack’s body to his presence. If not for the rest of SG1 and Bra’tac on the other side of the door, Jack would have been more than willing to make their dreams come true. As it was, Jack had to fight to get control of himself, as did Daniel - who had far less to hide behind than Jack.

Jack grabbed the nearest piece of cloth in sight, the SGC flag, and passed it over with a heartfelt, whispered, ‘About time you got here,’ as he turned his attention to a pole not his own in an effort to force his erection down where it belonged… for the time being, at least.

They’d more than made up for their awkward reunion later that night, and the next, and the next….

~*~

Back in the present

Daniel couldn’t help himself. Of all the times in their danger-filled, uncertain lives that he needed to hold Jack, this was the greatest. The other man seemed to recognize that fact and threw caution to the wind right alongside Daniel as the stepped forward to meet halfway.

The months of not knowing - of visualizing dozens of different horrible deaths for Jack on a nightly basis, of trying to resurrect hope each and every time they would find another dead end in the search - all melted away in the warmth of Jack’s embrace. For uncounted, wonderful minutes they just stood there, trusting the others to keep them safe while they reaffirmed that they were indeed together once again.

Finally, another voice broke the silence. “Something you’ve neglected to tell me, Jack?”

Daniel pulled back, a little, and reached out a hand to General Hammond, realizing he - and Jack - might have more than a little explaining to do. Instead he found himself engulfed in yet another hug… a rare thing indeed from the general.

“I’m happy for both of you, son. It’s good to see you. ”

And wasn’t that the most perfect statement ever. Not only did George approve of him and Jack, he recognized just what it meant to both of them to find each other again.

“Thank you, sir.”

And suddenly the moment was broken as everyone started trying to speak all at once.

“Attention!” Jack spoke up in his scary colonel voice and even Vala was shocked into silence. “We’re too exposed here. Mitchell, if you’ll grab the apples, we’ll take this inside.”

Chapter Ten
…damn near perfect…



Jack watched Daniel’s face when ‘inside’ turned out to be a hidden bunker beneath George’s barn. Pure, priceless shock.

Jack had known about the shelter, of course, he’d been the one to suggest it be built. George’s position with Homeworld put him at risk from several areas. They’d used a little Tok’ra technology, thanks to Jacob, and created a maze of natural tunnels and rooms forty feet beneath the ground.

The place was powered by a shielded naquada generator, had hot and cold running water the newcomers had already made good use of, Asgard beaming technology, and high level communications when not being jammed by the bad guys. They had been meaning to put in some back ups, goa’uld orbs and such, but the Ori had come before they got around to it.

Sitting over a dinner consisting of fried canned Spam, fried apples, country gravy, and a fried bread called ‘fritters’ by the southern contingent, aka George and Mitchell, Jack was able to really take a long look at his lover.

The search had not been easy on Daniel. Aside from the obvious weight loss, Jack could see his lover was more than simply tired in body, he was soul weary. Jack knew it would be a long time before his lover’s eyes lost that haunted sadness of not knowing Jack was alive, of losing so many friends. Jack suspected the same could be said of him. All he really wanted to do was get Daniel off to his room, he knew nothing of consequence could or would be said until they were face to face.

Jack hadn’t missed the solicitude on the faces of Vala and Mitchell and was glad to see it. At least Daniel hadn’t been alone in his journey. Jack, at least, had known Daniel survived the initial plague and the attack. Vidrine had been in contact with the mountain for the first few hours, until the Ori had isolated communications frequencies and started jamming them. From that point onward, they had operated in the dark, with no idea what the SGC was doing or even if it still stood.

They’d formed a sort of militia made up of former military and trusted civilians. Little by little they’d begun applying themselves to becoming a thorn in the Ori’s collective sides, but Jack didn’t fool himself into thinking they had a prayer of making much of a difference under current circumstances. There simply weren’t enough of them and there was much too much they didn’t know about this enemy.

Their world had been turned upside down in the space of days, but very few had seen the horrors of this war in the way Daniel and Vala had. Add in an extra layer of unfounded guilt for making the Ori aware of Earth and that was a hell of a load Daniel was carrying around. It wasn’t as if someone else wouldn’t have done it if Vala and Daniel hadn’t, Lee had already gotten permission from Landry… and therefore Jack and Hammond as well. There was plenty of guilt to go around, no mistake about that.

As Jack took a break from his own thoughts, Mitchell was telling them about Carter’s plan to get a blood sample.

“She thinks this frequency jammer will give us a good shot. The only trouble is finding the right prior.”

“The guy from Ver Ager?”

“Right,” Vala affirmed. “Speaking of whom….”

“I think tomorrow is soon enough to go into all this in more detail,” George said softly, pointing to the chair beside Jack.

Daniel had slowly been nodding off for the past hour, his hand beneath the table which had been holding onto Jack’s thigh gradually loosening its firm but reassuring grip. Daniel was well and truly asleep now, the shadows beneath his eyes evening out to leave him looking absurdly young.

Mitchell offered a hand and together he and Jack got Daniel down the hall and into Jack’s bed without rousing him at all.

“First time in weeks….” Mitchell whispered, answering the question Jack hadn’t asked yet. “Good to see you, sir.”

“You too, Mitchell. And thanks, for….”

He didn’t really have to say what for. Mitchell knew. Jack suspected Mitchell knew a great deal by now.

With a nod, Mitchell left them and Jack stripped down to boxers. With utmost care, he joined Daniel in the bed and pulled the other man close; breathing in the precious scent he had despaired of ever experiencing again.


~*~

Jack felt Daniel wake up, heard the small gasp as he must have realized where he was and who he was snuggled up against. Heard the near-sob before he felt his lover grab hold of him like he’d never let go again.

Opening his eyes, Jack returned the hug with enthusiasm, kissing every part of Daniel he could reach.

“I’m here, Daniel, I’m here.”

Daniel could only nod, tears glittering in his eyes.

“I didn’t think I’d ever find you….”

“I know, I’m sorry.” Jack brushed his fingers over Daniel’s eyes, wiping away the unshed tears, tenderly tasting the moisture he collected.

Suddenly Daniel was kissing him deeply, desperately, and moving his body against Jack’s. They needed to reconnect, to be sure they were alive again as they could only be when together in the heat of passion, the rawness of unbridled sex. Lube was an impossibility, but Jack had some lotion George had given him for chaffed skin. Not the best for their purposes, but it would have to be good enough because Jack knew there was no way Daniel would be satisfied with less than penetration at a time like this.

It had been so long, it was almost like the first time again. Daniel was hot and tight… and incredibly responsive. Moaning so loudly Jack was glad the walls were thick stone; he knew from experience they were nicely soundproof so there was little concern that anyone would hear. And damn, Daniel was a hell of a turn on at the best of times.

Now….

It was all he could do to keep his body under control as he prepared Daniel. He touched and tasted every inch he could reach, felt the sharpness of bone that hadn’t been there before and made a mental note to nag Daniel about it later.

As much as he knew Daniel’s condition was through no fault of his own, he never could bear the thought of his lover and friend being in need. Whether it was food, drink, love, attention…. Daniel deserved it all and more. Everything Jack could give him. One thing was certain, if things ever got back to anything approaching normal, Jack was never letting them be separated again. Bad things happened when they weren’t together.

“Love you, Jack….” Daniel whispered solemnly.

Past the point of coherent speech, Jack said, “Me… you… too….”

Daniel laughed softly and did that little thing he did with Jack’s neck that drove him nuts on a good day. Since the past month and more had been a long series of bad days, it went straight to his dick and nearly set him off. Daniel seemed to realize it and stopped, but not before giving him a grin full of lecherous promise. Jack could see Daniel gaining in confidence with every touch, finally allowing himself to accept the reality that they were together once more.

Jack had carefully avoided stimulating Daniel’s prostate, but now he gave it a little rub, a bit of sweet revenge as his lover nearly came off the bed at the sensation.

“Shiiiiiit…..”

Laughing, Jack moved until he was poised over his lover. “Ready?”

“Always, my love. For you….”

Jack nodded, accepting the honor he always felt when faced with the depth of Daniel’s love. Slowly, so slowly, he nudged his cock up to Daniel’s entrance and eased inside, savoring every millimeter of sensation as he felt himself welcomed and accepted with joy.

“Perfect…” Daniel sighed.

“Better than….” Jack agreed as he began to move with purpose.

It was like the first time all over again and more. The familiarity of time was strangely enhanced by both the time they’d spent apart and all the fears they’d lived with during that time.

It was sweet and urgent, driving and rhythmic, needy and needful. Beautiful, delicate, precious….

Closer and closer they pushed, giving and taking all at once until their world narrowed into a body made of two hearts, two minds, one unseverable connection that went on and on until they could hold back no longer. With a mutual cry of need, they pushed on together, up and over the brink into completion.

Chapter Eleven
…plan and plan some more…


It was only a matter of time now, Vala knew.

She’d seen O’Neill’s face the night before when she’d alluded to something more going on concerning the prior before General Hammond had interrupted.  She knew O'Neill well enough to know he would be pursuing the topic the first chance he got.

If and when he ever let Daniel out of that bedroom again.

Vala chuckled to herself, partly jealous, partly inordinately happy for Daniel’s sake. His dream had come true. And no one she knew deserved it more.

As much as she loved Daniel, and she was certain she did love him in a way she’d never loved anyone, seeing him happy was far more important to her than anything.

She thought she must finally be growing up. Strange, it didn’t hurt as bad as she’d feared.

Peeling more of the Earth apples for breakfast….and weren’t they just the most perfect tasting fruit in the galaxies?.... she felt a warm rush of domesticity. For a moment, if only for a moment, she could believe the world wasn’t completely turned around out there beyond these tunnels and chambers. That this was some homestead world and her men… and why shouldn’t she have four?... were working up an appetite doing good, clean, honest work that had nothing to do with advanced beings playing at being gods.

Goodness, she really was going soft.

“Morning, Ms. Mal Doran,” General Hammond came in and went straight to the coffeemaker. She smiled at his deeply appreciative sigh. All these months in Daniel’s company had taught her the finer points of coffee making, among other things.

“Call me Vala, please.”

“Only if you call me George.”

She smiled at this lovely man with his kind voice and gentle eyes. “I’d love to, George.”

She could tell he wanted to ask her something, so she stopped peeling and placed her hands firmly on the table. “Is there something I can do for you, George?”

He ducked his head almost shyly.  It was charming. “I just wondered… how long?” His thumb indicated the room down the corridor where O’Neill’s room was located.

She shook her head. “I’m not sure. As long as I’ve known him certainly. He made the what he was very clear when we met if not the who. But I knew who the moment I met O’Neill.”

“That obvious?”

She laughed. “Daniel wasn’t, but O’Neill’s possessiveness was very clear… at least to me.”

George smiled. “Apparently, I’m getting old. I never saw it.”

“They didn’t want you to, I’d guess. There are rules about such things on your world. And people who would not approve, I’m told.”

George was smart. He got what she was asking. “I wouldn’t be one of those people, Vala,” he said gently.

“Good. I like you and I want to continue to like you.”

His eyes twinkled and he said, “Why thank you, ma’am. How about we make them a real down home breakfast?”

“Did I hear ‘down home’,” Mitchell asked as he entered the room.

“Indeed you did, Colonel,” George replied, smiling. “If you’ll do the ham, I’ll do the biscuits and gravy, and Vala can do the eggs.”

“Eggs?”

~*~


By the time they’d finished the last batch of fried eggs and put the biscuits on the table, O’Neill and Daniel had been drawn out of bed by the delicious smells they’d produced.

As the pair made their way to the table by way of the coffee pot, Vala couldn’t help but smile wider. Oh yes, there stood two very happy people in love. The change in Daniel was amazing; his old spark was firmly back in place and beaming brighter than ever.

The food was served up and consumed with gusto. It was a perfect morning and, for this one moment, Vala just let the perfection wash over her because she knew it couldn’t last.

Over coffee, O’Neill shot an apologetic glance at Daniel, then turned to look at her.

“So, Vala, what was it you started to tell us last night before yon fair prince conked out on us?”

It seemed to be the cue everyone had been waiting for. Time to get down to business.

“It would seem the Ori have a special interest in Daniel. Whether because of his former status as an ascended or not, we don’t know, but we heard the prior from Ver Ager tell some of the faithful that Daniel was to be found and captured before the Doci arrives in a few days.”

“Why, I wonder?”

Daniel shook his head. “Maybe they think I can lead them to the Others somehow. Or…”

“Or could be used as bait to lure them out?” Mitchell speculated.

“Or could be changed into one of them? Demoralize our side by turning one of our own?” George shook his head at the folly of such an idea.

They all knew Daniel would die rather than become one of the Ori. Of course, that didn’t preclude some sort of coercion or trickery to make it happen. The possibility was all the more reason to keep Daniel as far as possible from the priors. And yet….

“I’m the only one who can get that prior out into the open.”

They all looked at Daniel as if he’d just sprouted wings.

“Not a chance in hell.”

“You know it’s true, Jack.”

“There has to be another way, Daniel. We can’t let them get their hands on you.” Daniel started to interrupt, but O’Neill cut him off. “And don’t give me that ‘I’m no more important than anyone else’ crap. I let you get by with it the last time but I’m damned if I’ll do it again.” O’Neill grew serious. “You are more important, Daniel. You are.”

Daniel started to shake his head, to deny his own importance.

Vala interrupted, “You heard the prior, Daniel. And the Doci at Celestis. Like it or not, there is something about you they either want to exploit or to corrupt. Neither of which would be good for our side.”

“I’m not sure we can afford not to use Daniel to draw out the prior, though,” Mitchell stated flatly. “Or at least the idea of catching Daniel.”

They all looked at him curiously and he shrugged. “Well even Vala commented on our ‘interesting but limited gene pool’.”

“A decoy?” O’Neill guessed.

Mitchell nodded. “If it doesn’t work, we can always let Daniel try. If it does, no harm no foul. They can’t use me to get to anyone or anything.”

“I can’t let you do that, Mitch! Not for me.”

Vala didn’t miss O’Neill’s raised eyebrow at the nickname, but she couldn’t help but admire the way he recovered his composure…and controlled his jealousy. “Not for you, Daniel. For all of us.”

Chapter Twelve
….it’s all in the execution…


George wasn’t happy. And he wasn’t the only one.

Daniel didn’t like the idea that Mitchell was going to serve as bait in his place. Vala hated getting anywhere near the Ori after her experiences in their galaxy. Jack wasn’t happy about anything except the fact that he’d be the one protecting Daniel. George, well, George wasn’t happy about putting his people at risk, but then he never was.

Unfortunately, the stakes were too high in this game. Without the prior, they couldn’t stop the plague. Without the prior, they couldn’t test the frequency jamming technology that could, potentially, be their one best hope to undermine their seemingly limitless power.

They were waiting now to hear from Colonel Carter and her team. If they were successful, there would still be the issue of getting the device to Earth. Hank Landry was smart, but George didn’t think the man had started performing miracles in his spare time.

George was taking a moment to relax; there wouldn’t be much time for it later. Vala and Mitchell had gone out to gather intel on the river, hoping to spot some Ori cells and see when the Doci was coming and where, perhaps discover where the prior was operating from.

Jack and Daniel had disappeared back into their room, undoubtedly to continue the argument begun after breakfast. Daniel Jackson was one of the few men George knew who had so much reason to value themselves, but so rarely did. The boy never had understood how important he was to the program, or even to all his friends. He didn’t see how his insights, intelligence, and ideas had saved them so many times. There weren’t many, if any, other people on Earth who could have impressed Mother Nature to the degree that she came to help them ascend to a higher plane of existence when the only other option was to give up and die.

George had no doubt at all that without Daniel Jackson, the SGC would have faded away into nothingness, the great Stargate buried under mounds of red tape and secrecy at the back of a warehouse at Area 51. The many alternate realities they had encountered proved, in George’s mind, that Daniel Jackson was the one essential element to a successful program. To an, if not prosperous, surviving Earth.

While Daniel was unhappy about Mitchell’s plan, it proved that the new leader of SG1 was no fool. George preferred not to think what else it might mean; he only hoped the man understood where Daniel’s affection lay, and perhaps always had.

“Sir?”

Speak of the man himself.

“Daniel? Everything okay?”

Daniel nodded and took a seat across from George. “Jack’s asleep. I just needed to talk to you alone. I doubt there will be a chance later.”

Nodding, George reached out with an open hand. “What can I do for you, son?”

“I just want to thank you. For supporting….us. For being such a good friend.”

“That is certainly my honor and my pleasure, Daniel.”

His words seemed to surprise the young man.

“Some day,” George mused, “you’ll actually believe that you are worth the value your friends find in you, my friend. “

The expected head duck happened right on cue then Daniel looked away, down the hall toward the room he shared with Jack.

“You didn’t seem surprised….”

George just shrugged. “I think maybe a part of me I always knew. It’s a rare fine thing when a person finds their soul mate. Having been lucky enough to find my own, I think something in me recognized the signs even as the fact you were both men and one of you military tried to tell me it was impossible.”

Daniel smiled. “Thank you, sir.”

“No thanks necess….”

He stopped as Mitchell and Vala burst in the door.

“Anything?” he asked.

Vala nodded. “Tomorrow night. There’s a big meeting down river for the new converts.”

“A little Prostration 101 seminar with special featured guests: our target prior and the big blazer himself, the Doci.” Mitchell looked grim despite his flippancy and headed for the coffee.

George hadn’t expected things to happen so fast. Twenty four hours wasn’t enough time. They needed the device from Colonel Carter, they needed to get their militia briefed and into place, they needed to…

“Got a spare set of glasses, Daniel?”  

Chapter Thirteen
… ready or not…


“Okay, this device will emit a high ultra-sonic frequency targeting a specific portion of the prior's brain, temporarily blocking his ability to use his powers. Now, the good news is, it won't have any effect on humans. The bad news is, it may not have any effect on the prior, either.”

Daniel hoped he understood Sam’s explanation correctly. Unfortunately, there was no time or opportunity for field tests, no spare priors to use as a guinea pig before the big meeting up the river tomorrow night.

The militia was assembled in George’s house, Jack had explained they hadn’t revealed the location of the bunker to anyone but the most trusted members for security reasons. Daniel recognized several people, men and women who had joined them either at the SGC or on other missions on Earth.
 
Mitchell had picked up the briefing. “In order for this thing to work the way we want it to, it has to be broadcasting on the correct frequency. Unfortunately, we don't know what that frequency is, so we'll use a trial and error approach. This remote allows us to adjust the signal, and sooner or later we'll get the right one. Any questions thus far?”

One of the former SGC officers, Adams, raised a hand. “How can you do that without someone provoking the prior?”

Daniel knew it was coming before Jack actually said anything. “You can’t. Which means someone will be going in as a sacrificial lamb in Daniel clothing. If it works, we have our man. If not….they’ll have Mitchell.”

“Unless,” Daniel interjected, “we can create a diversion and get him away. Which is where you come in.”

George took over the briefing then, coordinating what was to happen - if Sam was able to get the device to them in time - and where they would meet when the mission was over… successfully or otherwise.

Daniel was still highly unhappy that he was going to be kept on the fringes of the action. Not that he minded being with Jack, there was no where he felt safer, but he felt like he was failing to do his part. He was certainly putting Mitch in danger. Regardless of what they said, he wasn’t some unexpendable quotient in the Ori equation. He couldn’t be, could he?

The Ancients had kicked him out, stripped away his abilities, even his memories. There was nothing left of that year of his life but vague and incomplete flashes of memory like the one that had, thankfully, saved Bra’tac and Ry’ac. It had taken him a year and more to reconcile that missing part of his life, to piece together the little they knew of what he had done during that time.

The only thing he was certain of was that he’d chosen to go rather than … whatever they would have done to him. His second encounter wirh Oma had affirmed that.

~*~

Two years before

Dying sucked.

Each and every time.

Dying at the hand of a friend, even just the image of a friend, sucked even more. Oma said he had everything he needed to ascend again, but damned if he could figure out what it was or where it lived in his consciousness… or even if he really wanted to ascend again.

All he really knew was that the so-called Others were a bunch of dispassionate jackasses. Not only would they do nothing to help save the Milky Way galaxy, they wouldn’t even acknowledge his presence. It was like fighting shadows in the dark. How could he make them understand when he wasn’t even sure they could hear him?

In the meantime, a straight answer from Oma would be nice.

“Okay, I'll have the truth with a side order of clarity, please.”

“The replicator version of Sam was in your head trying to access the knowledge buried in your subconscious. But you gained control of her instead. She killed you to stop you. That's where I stepped in. How's that?”

“Pretty clear.”

“Well, we aim to please. Customer comes first, you know.”

“So I'm ascended again.”

“Not exactly. Sort of a stop along the way. You have to make that choice for yourself.”

“Can you tell me why you stopped me from killing Anubis the last time I was ascended?”

“Because if I didn't stop you, the Others would have. And they wouldn't have been as nice about it.”

“You mean, they wouldn't have erased my memory and left me naked on a planet?”

“That was your choice.” Daniel just looked at Oma. “Okay, maybe not the naked part.”

“But I didn't totally erase your memory even though I was supposed to.”

“Look, if you knew I had a problem following the rules the last time, why offer me ascension again?”

“Because I didn't want to see you die without at least giving you a second chance. Look, I have trouble following the rules. I'm not really supposed to help people ascend. You're supposed to do it on your own.”

And yet, she did…Twice with him now. And she didn’t let her massive error in judgment with Anubis stop her.

~*~

Back in the present

The way things looked, there wouldn’t be any third chances. There was nothing he could offer the Ori, nothing they could take from him or learn from him. Other than the brief interlude at the diner, the things he remembered about ascending wouldn’t fit on a 3 by 5 index card.

“Penny for them?” Jack’s soft voice interrupted Daniel’s thoughts. A welcome interruption. He realized he hadn’t even noticed the meeting was over and the room had emptied out.

“Not even worth that…” He tried to smile, but didn’t quite succeed.

Jack took him by the arm and they headed out to the barn. Rather than head for the hidden door into the bunker, though, Jack led him to the ladder leading to the hay loft.

Okay, this could get interesting.

Finding a private corner in the loft, Jack flopped onto the loose hay and pulled Daniel down beside him.

With a tender kiss, Jack both apologized for their earlier disagreement and asked Daniel to share his feelings.

“I know you aren’t happy with this plan, Daniel, but I think it’s important to keep you away from these guys. Maybe more important than anything else we do in the next few days.”

Surprisingly, Daniel believed him.“Why, Jack?”

Jack rubbed his hands slowly over Daniel’s shoulders and down his back. “I don’t know. Sure, my feelings for you factor in there. How could they not? But in my gut, in the part of me that’s spent thirty years looking for the angles, looking for the weaknesses, I know that losing you to the Ori would be our greatest weakness.”

It was hard to believe, part of Daniel wanted to tell Jack he was wrong, that one man couldn’t make that much of a difference. But he couldn’t look into Jack’s certain gaze and tell him he was wrong.

“You told me once that one man couldn’t be more important than any other. Told me I couldn’t do whatever it took to find a way to save you. I didn’t believe you then, even though I respected your wishes….”

“And they wouldn’t let you go after a sarcophagus…”

“And that.” Jack smiled gently. “The point is, I didn’t believe it then and I sure as hell don’t believe it now. More than ever I don’t believe it. Please don’t ask me to, Daniel.”

“Okay….”

 “I mean really. What are the odds of you being the one to find the Ori? The one person who could understand what they are and what an ass backwards system they’re running out there. If it hadn’t been you and Vala, it would have been someone like… say Lee or Mitchell… who would have given themselves away in the first five minutes, never would have survived to warn us what was coming, and sure as hell wouldn’t be able to understand who and what they were. It was almost like everything you went through, everything you’ve learned has prepared you to help us fight these guys.”

Daniel just shrugged, leaning in to the reassuring pressure of Jack’s still roaming hands. He could see where Jack would believe that his presence on the Ori homeworld was more of a positive than a negative, sometimes Daniel even believed it. Another part of him, however, couldn’t entirely talk himself out of the notion that someone else might have flown in under the Ori radar, been killed right away and left the Ori unaware of the Ancients and the existence of the great untapped energy of their galaxy.

“I’m not entirely convinced, Jack. And you know I’ve got a very healthy ego where it counts. But I also have no desire to be at the mercy of the Ori again. Whatever it is they think I can do for them, it can’t be good… for me or for the galaxy. We just don’t know enough about them or how they, or even the Ancients, do what they do. Or why.”

“Ain’t that the truth? Just promise to stay close to me when we’re around them. I’ll do everything in my power to keep you safe.”

“You always do, Jack. It’s the one certainty in my universe,” Daniel assured his lover, moving his body sensuously against his lover. “Have I told you today how much I missed you?”

Jack grinned. “No, not in the past two - three hours at least….”

Daniel placed a kiss against Jack’s cheek, his ear, his neck. He burrowed down Jack’s collar with single-minded purpose, content for now to just enjoy what he had, what he’d despaired of ever having again.

Tomorrow would come soon enough.

Chapter Fourteen
….a little knowledge…


Mitchell could almost hate O’Neill. Almost. Except he’d never seen that kind of smile on Daniel’s face before and he was absolutely certain he’d never be able to put one like it there himself.

It sucked to be him sometimes, but he could either be a man about it or wallow with the pigs…

Wallowing had never been his style.

Vala seemed to be in the same boat as him, both resentful of the lost potential but happy for the man they both loved. They’d shared a quick interlude the night before and would likely do it again tonight if he read the signs right. Sometimes a warm and willing partner who was just as aware as he was that they were each others’ instead of was enough to ease the pain.

Could be worse.

Would be worse if Sam Carter and General Landry didn’t come up with some way to get the device to them in the next 20 hours or so.

Daniel had actually apologized for ‘allowing’ him to go to the meeting in his place. Damn, he was so gone on that guy. Maybe he really should hate O’Neil after all…

Mitchell scrubbed a hand over his face and rolled off the bed. In the absence of something, or someone, better to do… maybe he should eat.

Slipping out into the corridor, Mitchell could see the common area of the bunker was empty. Like him, everyone had retired to their rooms after lunch, napping, praying, hoping, other things he didn’t want to think about lest he forget his vow not to hate O’Neill.

By his watch, it was three o’clock. A little early, but if he started now he could make a really great dinner. Something better than spam and eggs.

Heading for the food locker, he remembered there was a whole cut fryer in the freezer. There was flour, corn flakes, eggs, and spices. Everything he needed for granny’s fried chicken. There were still some apples… enough for a pie. Potatoes, mayo, sweet relish, and mustard would make a decent potato salad. Maybe some biscuits. And… oh yeah… mac and cheese. A real, live down-home dinner. Maybe the last for some of them, maybe for him.

Juggling the ingredients he’d need, Mitchell shook his head. He was not going there.

Putting the chicken in the microwave to defrost, Mitchell sifted out one batch of flour for biscuits and another batch for pie crusts, then crumbled the cornflakes into a bowl with some more flour, pepper, salt, and paprika. Next he got a bowl full of apples and another of potatoes and sat down at the table to peel and slice them.

If he didn’t look at the weird walls or the metal door, he might almost think he was back in grandma’s kitchen. It made him feel good, as it always had, touching that memory. Days of simplicity and humor, unconditional love and unwavering faith in all the tomorrows a boy could want or need. The worst he had to worry about back then was too much time being lost in church when he would so much rather be riding his bike down to the river or fishing with his buddies or sneaking a peek at Mary Lou Amblin through the blinds of the Riverside Diner. Mary Lou was a waitress of modest means, sweet as the pie she served and the wet dream of every adolescent and pre-adolescent boy in town. Still was, the last time he’d visited, even at nearly fifty.

Closing his eyes a moment, Mitchell let the smells wash over him. Sometimes it helped to remind himself of the little things, the things that made it worth doing stuff like they were about to do.

A flash of light on his eyelids alerted him to something having changed in the room. He opened his eyes to see a man, sort of scruffy, not bad looking at all, in jeans and a light tan jacket. A definite stranger though and not someone who should be there.

Shifting his grip on the knife, Mitchell rose to his feet. “Who the hell are you?”

“Orlin?”

Daniel came stumbling into the room wearing only pajama bottoms, obviously barely awake, with O’Neill a step behind him looking just as confused as Mitchell.

 “Hello, Daniel.” The other man smiled fondly at the deliciously rumpled, half dressed man in a way that spoke of familiarity and connection.

“Put the knife down, Mitch,” Daniel warned gently.

Mitchell was torn between the unknown and automatically doing what the other man said. It went against the grain in more ways than one; unknown plus vulnerable Daniel evoked an almost visceral need to protect. A look at O’Neill, who gave a kind of shrugging nod, and he put it down. The general was just as perplexed as Mitchell, but if Daniel said it was okay, it must be.

“This is Orlin. He’s an Ancient.”

“The one Sam, um….”

Daniel smiled. “Yeah, that one. And also a good friend to me when I was ascended.”

“I take it this isn’t a social call?” O’Neill offered.

Orlin shook his head. With a sweep of his hand, a strange device appeared on the table. “This is the frequency jamming device Samantha spoke of.”

“How did you wind up playing delivery boy?”

Daniel stepped forward. “He helped create it….”

~*~

Dinner was on the table, Daniel was, thankfully, now fully dressed, and all of them were gathered around and listening to Orlin and Daniel discuss the Ori and just what the Ancient was doing there.

“A long time ago, the Ori and the Alterans were one society, human, on an evolutionary path to ascension. But over time a philosophical division grew. The Ori grew more and more fervent in their religious belief. The Alterans…for lack of a better way of putting it…believed in science. The Ori tried to wipe them out.”

Daniel nodded. “So instead of going to war, the Alterans built a ship, left their galaxy, and came here. Uh, we know that both the Alterans and the Ori eventually ascended, and that the Ori passed on a religion called Origin to the next evolution of humans they created.”

“Yes,” Orlin confimed grimly, looking around at all of them, “but the central promise of the religion, everything Origin's followers devote themselves to, is nothing but a lie.”

Okay, that was confusing. If the masses believed Origin put them on the true path to enlightenment, and enlightenment led them to….

Daniel was the first to get it. “Are you saying that the Ori don't offer their followers ascension?”

“No. Most certainly not. Then they'd have to share.”

“Share what?” Hammond asked.

“The power they sap from those who worship them.”

“How is that possible?” asked Vala. “Are you saying there's a real, physical transfer of energy to the Ori that occurs simply through a human being's belief in them?”

“’Simply’ is not how I would put it. It's quite complicated actually, but clearly it is possible. And for it to have a measurable effect, it requires massive numbers of humans relinquishing their will. Nevertheless, it is one of the main reasons the Ancients have so strongly believed in strict non-interference with the lower planes.”

“Because the temptation to manipulate and align lower life forms in some order for your own purposes could result in exactly this type of abusive corruption.” Daniel wasn’t asking.

Orlin nodded. “The Ori empower themselves by sapping the life force of those willing to surrender themselves to them.”

“Unknowingly. And this promise of salvation in return…”

“Leads to nothing but death of the most meaningless kind.”

“Because there's no conscious effort to achieve enlightenment that isn’t being spoon-fed by the Ori.”

It was reprehensible. All that devotion, all that faith, wasted on a death that meant nothing. On a hope with no foundation.

“Do the priors know what it is they’re selling?” Mitchell asked.

Orlin shook his head. “They are merely pawns. The more worlds the priors convert, the more powerful the Ori become. They must be stopped.”

“I think we can all agree on that,” O’Neill said. “What I’m wondering is how do we do that?”

“Samantha has told me about Khalek. He had the abilities he did because he was in a much more evolved state, very close to ascension. Now we are hoping the Ori are affecting the priors in much the same way. By targeting and neutralizing the higher brain functions using a field generator emitting fluctuating ultrasonic frequencies, we hope to disrupt that connection.”

Vala had been quietly taking in everything. “I’m sorry, but given the threat the Ori represent, I have to ask…Why don't the Ancients, er, Alterans, whatever you call yourselves now…why don't you stop them?”

“I am not acting entirely alone. It is unclear whether overt action by us would result in victory. Nor is such an endeavor at that level necessarily the next best step to further enlightenment. All I can say for sure is that if this galaxy were to succumb and bow to the Ori, it would be very bad for everyone.”

Daniel smiled in understanding. “You’re breaking some major cosmic rules here, my friend. I mean, why did the Others let you get this involved without doing anything to stop you…or worse?”

“Honestly, I don't really know,” Orlin smiled. “I guess enough of them felt it was necessary for someone to step out of line and warn you. I can only hope I… all of us… are doing the right thing for the greater good.”

Everyone nodded and Mitchell figured they’d done all they could for now. Besides, the food was getting cold.

“On that note, let’s eat.”

Chapter Fifteen
…the best laid plans….



“So just how good a friend was this Orson guy?”

“Jack…”

“I’m just saying….”

“I’m pretty sure I never had ascended sex with the guy, if that’s what’s worrying you.”

“No, no…not worried. It’s just… he looks like a damn A list movie star and he can move things with his mind to boot…”

Daniel pulled Jack into the shadow of the trees, taking his lover’s face into his hands and kissing him with passion. It wasn’t often Jack got these crises of ego, but they could become full blown pity parties if not cut off quickly. He’d found kissing and especially sex to be particularly beneficial in restoring the status quo of Jack O’Neill’s self worth.

Gentling the kiss, Daniel drew back and looked his lover in the eye. “Better now?”

“Oh yeah….” Jack had that goofy grin on his face that never failed to melt Daniel’s insides.

“Think we can get on with the mission now?”

“Mission?” Jack put on the dumb act for a half-second, then gave him a jaunty wink.

Daniel laughed and pulled Jack with him back into the clearing. They were on their way to the rendevouz point where they were supposed to meet with the militia.

Vala and Mitchell were about an hour ahead of them. George had left that morning and should already be with the militia. Vala had the device; she would remain hidden and run through the frequencies after Mitchell incited the prior to use his power. Daniel knew just what it would take for Vala to get that close to the Ori again. Aside from her treatment at Ver Ager, Vala’s time in the Ori galaxy had been one of oppresion, fear, and constant danger. The priors had become aware of her presence early on and it was only through the help of small cells of insurgents like Harrid, Sallis, and Fannis that she managed to elude capture and find a way home again.

This plan had a lot of potential to go very wrong, very quickly. The variables were far too many and they were far too few. Orlin had been gone when they woke up this morning, who knew if he’d be back in time to help, though he had said he’d return to transport the blood sample. Daniel figured he had to stay on the move. Just because the Others hadn’t intervened yet, didn’t mean they wouldn’t.

Daniel and Jack were to be relegated to the rear, not even allowed closer than the binoculars could get them. Jack would have preferred they not be that close but since there were so few of them, George had felt there needed to be a back up plan. They would create the diversion they hoped would be enough to get Mitchell away from the prior. Jack had three grenades and both of them had a hidden pistol and a zat.

With about three miles to go, Daniel was determined to just enjoy this moment with Jack.

As always, he felt safe with his lover, felt alive. If he allowed himself, Daniel could almost forget where they were going and why. He could almost pretend he and his lover were just walking along the green riverbank on their way to fishing or a little skinnydipping in that private little cove near Jack’s cabin he loved so much.

Perhaps Jack was feeling it too; he kept walking close to Daniel, allowing their arms, shoulders, hips to connect and move in unison. It was almost like making love, certainly erotic, even though they were moving with purpose and hardly looking at one another.

Maybe this intent need to revel in the moment was a manifestation of some of the things Jack had talked about in the hayloft. Maybe he was worried something would go wrong. That he’d somehow fail to keep Daniel safe. That the Ori would discover the plot and be prepared for them somehow, have a trap in place. Even the goa’uld had limits, had weaknesses to be exploited. It seemed as if the Ori were unconquerable. Too big and too powerful, and far, far too unpredictable to be defeated.

“We’re going to beat them Daniel. One way or another. If not today, some day. With or without the Ancients or the Asgard or anyone else out there who claim to have our best interests in mind.”

“I want to believe that, Jack. I need to believe it.”

“Then believe, my love.”

And because Jack believed, Daniel did too.

~*~

Not as big a crowd as they’d feared, barely a hundred. Not much of a gathering for the big show. Daniel hoped that meant the coversion wasn’t going as well as the Ori hoped. It could simply mean there just weren’t that many left alive in this area.

“No kids,” Jack observed.

Daniel looked around the crowd and it was true. Not one child or even young teen in all the assembled people. Were the parents protecting them? Or were they gone too?

From their vantage point on a rise above the meeting area, they could see the entire thing. Daniel spotted Mitch among the militia members, his hood covering most of his face but allowing a brief glimpse of glasses that didn’t fit the man they knew at all. Daniel almost smiled to note Mitch was wearing the glasses low on his nose so he could see clearly over the tops. With the robe and hood pulled low, it almost made him look like an old man. It wasn’t a perfect disguise, but from a distance Daniel could almost believe it was him… or at least his older brother if he’d ever had one.

Vala was somewhere in the trees behind the central dais, ready and waiting to operate the frequency jammer when Mitch was ‘discovered’ and provoked the Ori enough to use his power. There was so much potential for something to go wrong…

And when it did, because Daniel firmly believed something would go wrong, it would fall to him and Jack to create enough of a commotion to give Mitch and the others a chance to get away.

Jack nudged Daniel on the arm and pointed toward the gathering.

It was him, the prior. Strolling through the crowd like some hideously disfigured saint, like he deserved the enforced worship being bestowed upon him. Like he wasn’t just a man being artificially propped up by a higher life form with a collective god complex.

The prior moved to the platform, looking out over the crowd in open approval. On cue, one of the militia members called out Daniel’s name and Mitch raised his head just enough for the glasses to be seen, then ducked away as if he was going to run.

The prior’s staff glowed and Mitch was lifted into the air. Daniel could see him pulling on the hood, trying to keep his identity hidden as long as possible. There was a sudden surge, as if the power of the staff was being shorted out, then Mitch dropped to the ground. Adams rushed forward, using the syringe he’d kept hidden beneath his cloak to forcibly draw blood from the prior while another man held the prior down. Once done, he was surrounded by other militia members and was able to fade back though the crowd and into the woods. Everyone started to clear out then, even those not involved in the operation.

Just as suddenly as he was rendered powerless, the prior was once again in control and, clearly, very pissed off. Jack fingered one of the grenades, not all of the crowd was away just yet. As the prior raised his staff again, Jack pulled the pin on the grenade and tossed it toward the river. Just as people started to rise in the air, the grenade exploded and they were dropped as the prior’s distraction overtook him. Daniel aimed his pistol, knowing this might be their only chance, and fired. The prior was hit, low in the chest.

What remained of the crowd was shocked. The seemingly all powerful being who had kept them in fear so long, had changed their way of life, had killed friends and relatives was suddenly revealed as human and vulnerable.

Like the turn of a switch, they were on him.

Jack looked on approvingly then grabbed Daniel’s arm and indicated it was time to go. Daniel nodded and started to follow when he found he couldn’t move at all.

Between one blink and the next he was looking at Jack, who turned back to see what was wrong, and then he was looking at the too familiar greenish hue of the plains of Celestis… home of the Ori.

Chapter Sixteen
…when it all goes wrong…


Jack knew it!

He’d known all along it was a bad idea for them to expose Daniel. He should have been left in the bunker, safe from the power of the Ori and their mysterious plans for him. Not two steps behind him and Jack had still not been able to protect Daniel.

Dammit.

And that knowledge hurt almost as much as not knowing where Daniel was now, or if he was even still alive.

Jack had failed the one person on this or any other planet he could least bear to lose. He’d let his ego tell him the only risk was from the prior and he’d been wrong… so wrong.

“It wasn’t your fault, you know.”

Jack almost jumped out of his skin. He hadn’t heard Vala come up into the loft. He’d come up here to be alone, to remember the last time he and Daniel had been together, to pray in his own way that somehow they could find Daniel before it was too late.

“Then whose fault is it?”

Vala came to sit beside him, not too close but not too far.

“The Ori, of course. You couldn’t have predicted the Doci, or the Ori themselves, would be able to pull him away without being seen. You had no warning, no way to know. It was not your fault, Jack O’Neill.”

Jack nodded, accepting the sentiment if not the words. This woman was a lot of things, including a loyal friend to Daniel, and he appreciated that she didn’t blame him.

“So what do we do now? How do we get him back?”

Vala gave a half shake of her head. “I’m not sure, honestly. George has called Colonel Carter, trying to find Orlin. I think only an Ancient can get us where we need to go if we are to find Daniel… I don’t believe he is on this planet or even this plane any longer.”

Jack was surprised. “That Celestial place you went before?”

“Celestis?” Vala considered it. “Possibly. I think for the Ori that place serves the same purpose as the diner Daniel described, the one he went to the last time he, um…”

“Died? It’s okay, you can say it. He’s got a very bad habit of doing that. Ignoring it doesn’t make it any easier. The only good part is that he’s almost as good at coming back.”

Vala smiled comfortingly. “Somehow, I understand that. For what it’s worth, I don’t believe they mean to kill Daniel.”

“Oh?”

“No. They seemed too interested all along in turning Daniel to their way of thinking. Of convincing him their way was the right way. It was almost as if they thought his belief would do something for them, help advance them somehow….”

Jack couldn’t imagine what Daniel might be going through if Vala was right. Daniel was tough, one of the strongest people Jack had ever known. If not the strongest. If they were somehow torturing him, or using some sort of brainwashing to try and convince him….

A touch on his arm brought Jack back to the loft, away from the frightening direction his thoughts were heading.

“What ifs won’t help Daniel. There's nothing to be gained by second guessing yourself. You can't remake the past, so look ahead, Jack, or risk being left behind.”

Jack decided he might genuinely like Vala after all.

~*~

Jack was dreaming. At least he thought he was. Skaara was dead, right? So this must be a dream….

It looked like Abydos, without the three moons and the big pyramid. A big desert, certainly. Stretching for miles, gentle curves of gold and rose painted by the setting sun.

And right in the middle of his field of vision was Skaara. Looking just like the kid who’d captured his interest from the first moment they’d met; all adolescent bravado and confused fear.

“Hello, O’Neill.”

Jack wasn’t sure what to do. Could you hug a dream?

“I am no dream, O’Neill. Remember what I told you after Anubis destroyed the pyramid?”

That’s right. Skaara and the Abydonians were all glowy now, like Daniel used to be.

“Not quite like Danyel, but yes, we are ascended.”

Jack didn’t get the distinction, but it didn’t really matter. “So… not a dream, then?”

Skaara smiled gently and shook his head. “I am here to tell you Danyel is not alone.”

“You know where he is?”

Nodding, Skaara came close to touch Jack on the arm. It felt real. Felt good, like everything would be okay.

“My brother is not alone, O’Neill. Nor are you. We are watching and waiting for a chance to help him, and to defeat the Ori.”

Okay, this was different. One of the high and mighty actually admitting they were going to do something.

“I thought Orlin said he wasn’t sure…”

“Things have changed, O’Neill. Once Danyel was captured, the risks became too great.”

That made no sense. “Why? What is it about Daniel that…. Changed things? Made the big whosits change their minds?”

Skaara merely shook his head. “It is best you do not know, O’Neill. For Danyel’s safety. Suffice to say, we will not let the Ori harm him and when the time is right, you will be taken to him.”

“What? Time?”

“Soon, O’Neill. For now, rest and be ready….”

Skaara smiled gently then reached out to touch Jack’s forehead. He fell back… into darkness, into sleep.

Chapter Seventeen
….should have veered left…


Bad, bad, bad….

Daniel didn’t like this place, didn’t like it at all. He’d gotten a very strange vibe off it before when he wasn’t even in his own body…it was ten times worse now that he was.

Malignancy lived here. Gloomy, burning, insidious darkness. It was a place of no hope, of no future, of no faith.

Despite the fact that the priors and the Doci seemed to treat like their very own fiery Vatican, this place was no kind of church. Not a place of spiritual enlightenment, only a place of power gained by any means necessary dressed up to look like something desirable and needed. All flash, as Jack would say, and no substance. Nothing beneath the surface to redeem the evil things they did to get what they needed.

Poor Jack.

Daniel could only imagine the hell his lover was putting himself through right now. He knew Jack well enough to know he’d be blaming himself for Daniel’s capture. Hopefully, he’d get the chance to kick his lover’s ass for it too. Soon would be good.

As prisons went, this one wasn’t so bad.

He had a bed, a table, a candle, and a Book of Origin constantly reading itself to him twenty four seven. He supposed they thought the repetitious droning voice would convert him somehow. What they didn’t realize is he’d always been able to compartmentalize his consciousness. The reading was a faint buzz in the background for him, only there if he let himself become distracted from other thoughts.

He had plenty to think about.

By now his friends were plotting some way to help him, but he knew they had no earthly means of reaching him now. Hopefully, they’d at least gotten the blood sample to Sam and a cure was underway.

Orlin was a wild card.
No one, not even Jack, had asked him how he knew Orlin was present in the bunker when he’d come to deliver the jamming device. He wasn’t sure he knew… but since then he’d been remembering more about being ascended. Not so much what he’d done or how, but experiences and people… those he remembered.

Whether his old friend would help somehow was unknown. Orlin, and a few others Daniel had come to know while ascended, were just as disenchanted by the lack of meaningful action on the part of the Others as he had been. Daniel had no idea how far that disenchantment extended now, though. Would Daniel’s capture be a final straw? Could only a few of them stand against the Ori here on their own ground?

Would they even dare to try?

~*~

“Yes.”

Daniel found himself in another place, though he knew his body was still on the bed in his cell, appearing deep in meditation.

It was Oma’s diner, but it was dark and empty except for someone behind the counter filling a couple of coffee mugs…

“Kasuf?”

The old man smiled and nodded, stepping around the counter and moving forward to embrace Daniel tightly. “Yes, my good son. I am here. We will not leave you alone in this place.”

For a moment Daniel just let himself be held and protected by the man who had become his second father. Kasuf was here, not dead like Abydos. Jack had said the Abydonians were ascended, s